You Might Know a Child Being Trafficked

Sheri Lopez is an Arizona woman President of Paradise Republican Women's Club who was groomed and trafficked for sex during high school. It can happen to any girl or boy.  

Sheri wants to expose the truth about how hundreds of average kids are carefully, methodically recruited right from their schools and other normal activities. Knowing what to look for could save a child from a life of misery and torture. Please read her guest blog below, get her memoire, and share this with others—especially this excellent resource at her website, ‘What is Grooming?’ ~ Kim 

Our children are precious, and no one wants to see harm come to them. For this reason, I have chosen to share my story of being groomed and trafficked in America to help people understand that human trafficking is not something new, in fact, it has been happening for a long time.  

Trafficking has become a sophisticated multi-level operation, much like a cartel, with many trafficking rings run by gangs in America and across the world. Let me share some terminology in simple words: Grooming is a slow, methodical process of desensitizing a child to inappropriate touch, sexual images and acts and to transfer their trust from the child’s support system at home to the groomer. All of this is done to prepare the child to be sold. The trafficker is the one who sells the child. 

As horrible as this is to read, it’s reality and should be enough to motivate any parent, grandparent, guardian and the community to pay attention and get involved. 

Before I continue, I need to dispel a common myth that most children that are trafficked are kidnapped or taken off the streets, as depicted in movies. Yes, kidnapping does happen, but most trafficked children know their groomer, trafficker or both. I hope this helps bring the reality of this situation into its proper context. 

Without going into details, let me just share with you that at the age of 15, a boy 2 years older than me befriended me in high school and it was his dad who became my groomer and first trafficker. I would attend school during the week and be “sold” (trafficked) on the weekends and over the summer. This continued until I graduated high school and was then sold to 3 other traffickers before my miraculous rescue by my earthly angel, named Pearl, at a mailbox, thus the name of my nonprofit, in honor of Pearl. 

Any child can become a victim of grooming; no child is immune. This is the harsh reality, and you need to know this. Trafficking is a multi-billion-dollar business and as with any business, new products are needed on a regular basis, and those products are our children. 

I am often asked by parents how they can tell if their child is being groomed. My answer is always the same, “there is never one specific clue”. As much as I wish a child being groomed would be able to tell their support system at home, most won’t because groomers are smooth operators and slowly groom their targeted child, often playing the role of a romantic interest, as in my case. 

Many children have been raised to be kind, thoughtful and caring about others’ feelings, all of which are admirable qualities. Speaking with other survivors, the aspect of caring for others to the point of becoming a ‘people pleaser’ was a characteristic their groomers used to manipulate and mold them. It is important to raise strong, independent thinking children who care for others, but can spot manipulation and walk away from it. 

Before I share some of the common signs a child being groomed may display, let me mention online games. Any game that has a chat feature can be used by groomers to scout out potential victims. Let me clarify that online games are not bad to play. However, there are some features groomers have used to their advantage. Why not play online games with your child? This is a great way to spend time together while you monitor any chat requests that come in. There is a site called smartsocial.com, that teaches children that all they share on social media today will follow them into adulthood and may even impact future employment.  

It would be a disservice to you if I did not mention that children are groomed in school, as I shared earlier that I was. Teen’s groom other teens with the direction of their trafficker. A trafficked teen in school who is told to recruit other teens may be dressed in the latest fashion and have all the latest gadgets, all designed to lure in other teens. I tell parents to instill in their children that material items are nice to have but they are not needed for people to like them. 

What are signs of grooming and what should you do? If a child has new friends that you do not know, they want to be away from home for long periods of time, they have clothing and gadgets you did not buy for them, or their personality drastically changes, these can possibly indicate grooming. Yet again a teen’s personality is always changing as they go through puberty, so that may not be the best sign to go by. 

What I share with parents is to listen to your gut. If you feel something isn’t right, there is a good chance you are correct. Do not be afraid to talk to your child, be their parent, not their friend, tell your child “No”, if need be and take away electronic devices. In fact, electronic devices should never be used behind closed doors where you cannot see what they are doing. Ask your child weekly to see their devices, know their passwords and dock all electronic devices at night in a location your child cannot get to. 

If you suspect grooming, call the police and make a report, remove the child from the situation and turn over all electronic devices to the police so they can potentially track down the groomer for arrest and get your child the help they need. 

There is so much more I could share with you, but I will save that for another article. In the meantime, I invite you to visit my website, PearlAtTheMailbox.org and purchase a copy of my memoir. My goal with writing my memoir was to share how I was groomed, and to prevent other children from falling into the traps I did.